big mood, little mood has been my emotional support podcast for the past 3 years (starting when danny was dear prudence) and i am on the one hand despondent to hear of its ending, but on the other i respect and support danny’s choice to move on to other projects! it has meant so much to have a podcast that satisfies my unending need for gossip & on which the host and guest also have such consistently good takes that align with my values/worldview/interests. when my friends ask me for advice i think of what danny would say (and believe me, they KNOW that is what i am thinking.) also, this may be very parasocial of me, but i feel very seen by anything danny shares about how his mind works. danny, i’m not sure if you’re reading this and it’s therefore weird of me to be using the third person, but thank you so much for putting this into the world, and i am very excited to see / hear / engage with your future work!!!

I love Danny and have learned so much about how to be a good human from him over the years.

Danny gives thoughtful, eloquent advice, and I really enjoyed his book as well. His guests, however, can be pretty hit-or-miss. It’d be great if he can invite more guests whose expertise or lived experience is relevant to giving advice (eg the psychologists and social workers tend to be good), versus writers and other podcasters who can sometimes give questionable advice at best, and sound apathetic or sarcastic at worst. While I enjoy being introduced to artists I did not know, I’m not sure people looking to market their own work are necessarily the most qualified people to give advice. The format doesn’t seem to do justice to people who are writing to Danny about their heartfelt problems.

But I wish he picked “juicer” letters more frequently. Some of them are boring and have predictable answers/responses

I started listening to you from years and years ago when you were “dear prudence”. I don’t know if you felt this as well but lately it seems to me that when you are giving advice, you dice and dice and dice it….. and take forever answering one question.

Danny makes the world feel like a safe place for everyone, even though it isn’t, and makes life’s most prickliest problems feel surmountable. This podcast is the deep breath I often need.

Thoughtful advice given with kindness and consideration, about a wide range of interpersonal topics. It’s comforting and helpful. I so appreciate this podcast!

I have been a die hard Danny listener and fan since dear prudence and pre-books, but unfortunately feel compelled to give a bad review after listening to this episode with Kate Duffy. Please do not bring her back on the show. She talked A LOT but had zero original thoughts to add. Her part of the show could have been summed up by “That was well said. Ditto.” Really enjoy hearing Danny’s thoughts on different topics each week but this episode only got through two questions. Big disappointment. Kate Duffy: licensed clinical social worker and loud north.

Spot-on and unflinching, sage advice

Kate episodes are great

The podcast is becoming unlistenable for me and I unsubscribed today. It's not transphobic to want to know someone's pronouns so that I know what to put in a work email but I think this podcast would rip me to shreds for having the audacity to want that simple clarification in the workplace. I think this podcast is intended primarily for individuals who travel in politically radical circles, woth the most avant-grade thinking, with a particular focus on trans issues. I don't think this podcast is for me, a person who does not travel in radical circles but who does want to be an ally in a world that is very tough on marginalized people. That's ok, I guess. I hope it reaches the people who need to hear it.

Danny is one of my favorite people to listen to ! He is just so smart , witty , and extraordinarily kind to all the advice seekers . I feel very comforted listening to such an inspiring person give such thoughtful advice .

It is so calming to listen to people talk about problems and show kindness towards people in distress. I listen to every episode twice, once while on a walk and then again during a relaxing nap. Danny has such a good “take a nap” voice.

I love Danny’s banter and choices of guests.

I appreciate Danny’s humane and caring approach to problem solving. Move over, Miss Manners!

It’s not good anymore. The episodes don’t appear to have been edited. They ramble. The guests — always the potentially weak part of the show, even in the better Dear Prudence incarnation — are often not able to give advice, or they say really messed up things.

I’ve been a loyal listener since the early Dear Prudence days and Danny’s thoughtful scripts have worked their way into my daily communication to great effect. His straightforward and nonviolent approach to difficult conversations is really lovely, and I enjoy hearing Danny’s advice for any situation. I also have GREATLY enjoyed the recent addition of an ED medication to the ad rotation. Danny’s obvious delight in that recording made me laugh the first time I heard it and it continues to entertain.

Clearly a damaged person, but a much worse podcaster.

Finally unsubscribed after hoping Danny would improve with this new podcast. Danny is clearly very out of touch with the rest of the world. He often addresses hypothetical extreme scenarios not mentioned in the letter rather than the scenario described by the letter writer. Additionally, he has become rather judgmental and humorless.

Has become preachy and long winded.

At some point, Danny became so consistently judgmental and condescending that I had to stop listening. He’s completely out of touch with the world outside a very niche and orthodox bubble.

What a waste of time. Trash podcast with trash guest

I love Daniel's advice and interviews - he brings excellent questions (and holds the space for great answers from his guests) in every episode. No matter which topic comes up, he has amazing insight and a unique perspective that always gets me thinking a little differently from the norm, which is super refreshing. Highly recommended!

I enjoyed listening to Daniel in Dear Prudence; he always has a nuanced and thoughtful take on things. I feel like the new format and tone of this podcast make it more long-winded, rambly, and ... kind of depressing? I think the questions being selected—and therefore the conversation—are more sad and dark. I’m still listening, at least for now.

I used to LOVE Danny and looked forward to listening to him every Tuesday. Lately (ie. The last few episodes) I have picked up on an increasingly judgmental tone geared towards people that have different beliefs than him (I’m not talking like, problematic or bigoted beliefs that hurt others, but more so different spiritual beliefs). The last guest mentioned her zodiac sign and beliefs about life after death, and I felt she was almost mocked by Danny. It left me with a yucky feeling. Even though you don’t share a particular belief, it doesn’t mean you have to mock others that do.

I have read or listened to every DP podcast and column and don’t always agree but always appreciate. I was bummed to read it was ending, but I was pleased to still get a weekly dose of Danny’s humor and compassion with BMLM.

I was a faithful DP listener and loved hearing about writers’ various problems as well as the advice given by Danny and guests. The new show features one question, a brief response, and then 30+ minutes of listening to Danny and guests make small talk. I still like Danny as a person but the new show is a big no from me.

Why are the legacy Dear Prudence reviews attached to this podcast? New show, new format = new reviews shouldn’t it?

I recently discovered DP and have continued to listen to it in its new iteration. It is so great to listen to an advice podcast by a trans person, and it feels so great to have the norm be queer and trans affirming advice!! And most of all to have a trans person on the air who isn’t pigeonholed into talking about only trans issues as well. I think the reviewers who find Daniel to be judgey sometimes are just mad because it’s not the classic advice column catering to cis and white fragility; Daniel can be snarky but he always takes care to walk it back or be compassionate even if giving a bit of a sarcastic response at first (and honestly that’s usually aimed at letter writers who are being awful to people anyway!). I’m not sure how I feel about the new format yet but I’m keeping an open mind and I do still really enjoy it :)

I fell in love with Danny when he was Prudie, and I found his column and podcast endlessly fascinating. The new podcast format is different, but Danny often lamented that he was unable to spend adequate time in the old podcast format addressing someone’s thorny issue. In this new format he’s clearly able to better address these difficult issues that readers write in with, and it’s lovely to hear a fully thought out answer that isn’t rushed at all. I absolutely adore Danny’s personality, and it really comes through even more now with this new format, so while I miss Danny answering more questions with his guest, I think it’s for the better. (And of course I’m just thankful we still get a podcast from Danny!)

Give his ever-so-wise advice. But starting with the first episode, I immediately got the sense that this new format of podcast is more about making $$ (more commercials, promoting the guest hosts). One more petty complaint: though Inkoo Kang seems pleasant enough, there is an inordinate amount of the word “like” sprinkled into every sentence, and it’s so annoyingly distracting. Danny does it too, though less so.

I’m primarily interested in the advice so the new show doesn’t have enough of that for me. (Although, I’d be open to something like this old show had at the very beginning where Danny would riff on something random for a little while). I wish we were getting more than one question and less of the guests.

Dear prudence offers great advice and honestly there have been times when her answers to people’s problems have helped me with similar issues. It’s helped me not feel alone in this crazy time. Update:I still like the show and I’m giving the new format a chance but there was a question today with that person who wrote who said their life being meaningless and I’m not really sure I guess it was a joke but then He was like well ‘if your life feels meaningless you should transition!’ Then he double downed on it and said it again it didn’t really sound like a joke and the person who was answering questions with him seemed a little put off and transition os serious and can be a great thing for a person but you don’t just transition because you’re depressed and you feel like life is meaningless .I don’t know I just “ found that strange I still like the show. I just had to mention it

I have listened to every episode of the Dear Prudence podcast (and read all columns on slate as well) and have enjoyed it immensely. I was initially excited for the more flexible format of Big Mood Little Mood where we could hear more conversation with the guests. But the reality is the guests, most of whom I haven’t heard of, are asked about their recent work projects, and they plug them, and it’s not particularly interesting. It’s like one advice letter and then a PR fluff interview with someone whose work I’m not interested in or familiar with. I’ll give it a few more tries but If the show continues in the current format I’ll probably drop it and hope for a new Dear Pru podcast.

Some of the advice goes from reasonable to extreme and judgmental on a dime, and sometimes doesn’t feel like it’s based on what the letter writer wrote, and is instead based on potential extreme possibilities that might be adjacent to the original issues.

I loved the DP podcast. it’s why I subscribe to slate plus. I hate the new show because now half of it is Danny spewing references a mile a minute that I’ve never heard of. Congratulations! I’m sure you’re great at trivia night! But it’s boring and impossible to listen to because what you’re saying is not ACCESSIBLE!!! Love Aubrey Gordon though :) and I liked when Grace is on the pod.

I don’t necessarily agree with everything Danny days but the questions and discussions are always engaging and thought provoking and the guests are great. Thanks Danny !

Danny, I love it when you randomly drop in to an episode that you’re wearing a hat or that your dogs are doing something silly in the background. Also I love it when you bring Grace on, please do it more. @everyone else I’ve learned a bunch about ~other ways to be~ from this podcast and it makes me laugh!!

I’ve enjoyed the Prudie advice pod for a long time, but was THRILLED and so pleasantly surprised to hear Aubrey Gordon as the recent guest. Danny is consistently great and Maintenance Phase is my favorite new podcast. I’m really enjoying the mashup. Thank you!

I’m updating my prior review. I think I was too hasty. I do enjoy the podcast. I also read online about what Daniel did to protect children at his family’s congregation. I was really floored and overwhelmed by that. On to the podcast. Recently I’ve felt that the advice has been more compassionate and he even said at one point, “I don’t know if I have good advice on this.” It is good to have a such a humble, thoughtful Prudence.

I’ve been listening to this show for 5ish years and I’ve noticed that the tone and the advice that Danny gives has changed a lot over time. Lately I’m finding that it’s lacking in compassion and empathy, and instead has a lot of snark and judgement about certain peoples problems or questions. Of course, there are rare occasions where that harsh tone is warranted, but usually not. I would love to see Danny bring back some of the warmth that he used to include on the episodes. I personally would never write in because I would terrified of getting torn apart, judged, and told my problem wasn’t legitimate. I think this show also used to have more humor to it (like when Danny would tell stories about eating peanut butter from the jar for lunch), and that seems to be gone and replaced with preachiness. Two other suggestions: 1) I find that often he is answering questions about parenting when he doesn’t have kids and his guest doesn’t either. I’d love to hear more from guests who have kids so that we hear that perspective and perhaps bring more empathy to parenting issues that way. 2) I love when Grace is the guest and I wish that happened more often. I like that she will take a different stance than Danny, push back, and initiate more debate. And their dynamic is just very sweet :)

Danny should consider therapy to explore his anger issues before ever offering bad advice to anyone ever again.

In answering a question from a lady on social security in her 70s, the response was "I will not help you, I hate you" because this lady was fortunate enough to own a house (that she was struggling to pay the mortgage on). The contempt with which this and some other letters are read is unsettling. Also, the guests always go along with whatever nonsense is uttered and never provide a rational counterpoint. I guess it's a good listen if you want to get irritated about something?

There is never, as far as I can remember, a dissenting opinion from the guest on how to handle a situation. So why have a guest? So they can “yes” man Danny on every letter and support some of his more out there advice? So, if you want to listen, just prepare yourself for some crazy advice and NO dissenting opinions.

I used to really like this podcast until over time I realized that 90% of it is just Danny projecting his own issues from his high horse. He’s brutal to some people who really don’t deserve it and then finds excuses for others who seem to be kinda terrible people. And as others have said, guests always just go along with whatever he says rather than presenting any interesting counterpoints so I don’t really understand why they’re there. I guess to provide some type of “expert” opinion since Danny doesn’t have any actual credentials to be giving life advice?

…don’t ask Dear Prudence. If you are looking to be shamed and judged, Dear Prudence is for you. Listening to the callow snark of Dear Prudence is excruciating.

But the latest episode could’ve used a content warning. That was excruciating.

A humorless scold - I love advice columns but this is is incredibly dull and the advice seems remarkably unhelpful.

If you like advice columns (who isn't helped by hearing other people's problems instead of their own for a change?) this is the podcast. I discovered Dear Prudence while considering starting my own advice column, but Danny is the best advice giver ever and there's no reason to send anyone your letters but him, so instead I've devoured every episode and have to sign up for Slate+ now for more. If you like firm but compassionate guidance, lessons on drawing safe boundaries, ethically solid stances on social & political matters, and loads of nerdish jokes about pop culture references that will make you feel no longer alone in the world for remembering them (i.e. "the word that ended Charn") - not to mention all your favorite writers & comedians joining as guest hosts every episode??? - cancel all your plans, because you are about to be comatose with nourishment. This podcast really got me through the pandemic. Thank you Daniel M Lavery & the Dear Prudence team! Sincerely, "Healthily Obsessed"

Wow. This was my first episode and I immediately unfollowed .. you gave terrible advice and blamed the writer for not having compassion and never acknowledged that the niece is wrong. I won’t listen again ... you guys are sick